Trekking for gorillas: what it taught me about setting expectations

I took a trip to see our hairy cousins. And what I found was insight into human nature, and a central factor of employee experience. Plus, some big apes.

South-west Uganda, October 2018. The dense forest opens in a slight clearing and we look down into the valley. The thick green trees cover the landscape and the morning mist is starting to clear. The breath-taking view is broken by the sound of a husky gorilla call. “Those are truly wild gorillas” says the guide, “They are not used to people - it is not safe for us to see them”. So, along with the small group of tourists and two armed guards, we wipe our sweat away and continue up the mountain.

After landing in Rwanda, and a slightly ominous border crossing into Uganda, I was finally on the expedition of a lifetime. It was booked months in advance, requiring a special license – all in aid of protecting this precious species. Tourists were assessed for their fitness and split into groups. Me, I was put into the more able group, meaning we would trek to one of the furthest troops, one that the trackers had been seeking since early that morning.

The two guards with us were carrying machine guns - as much for forest elephants as for poachers. In such a dense undergrowth, startling across the elusive elephants could be a dangerous outcome for the group. But luckily – or not – they were very rare.

Four hours into the uphill trek, the guide stops us. We’ve finally found the troop we were looking for, so it’s time for some last-minute guidance before we close in.

There, a few meters to my right, was the silverback. He was sat, eating leaves, not in the slightest bit bothered by our presence. The position, the expression, the eyes - it could be a person sat in a cafe back home. Just a little hairier. For a few brief minutes we got to stare upon this wonderful beast, balancing general awe with quick camera snaps. Then, suddenly, he lurches up on his knuckles and charges across the group. A gentle reminder of who’s in charge.

The next 45 mins were spent following this wonderful creature, along with several females and a couple of young, as they moved through the forest. Gradually they got deeper, and deeper, until we just couldn’t follow them anymore.

Those few stolen moments with one of natures greatest creatures were very memorable. And yet at the same time, a little disappointing.

Happiness isn’t just about what actually happens

Gorilla trekking is one of the main draws in Rwanda, and the southern tip of Uganda. Around the region, I met countless tourists and travellers who did these trips and shared their stories. I saw videos of babies playing at the tourist’s feet, gorillas sat nonchalantly in people’s presence, huge families relaxing with their human visitors for a full hour.

I’m an animal lover – I really am. I know they’re unpredictable, uncontrollable, and that’s how they should stay. Yet I let my expectations rise with each picture I saw or story I heard. Looking back, it was incredible. Yet at the time, I felt gutted - which I’m a little ashamed to admit.

The evil framing of expectation

Had I gone on that trek without interacting with any tourists first – the interactions I had would have been incredible. The reality of them wouldn’t have been any different, but my assessment, mentally, would have.

We’re complex creatures. We plan and assess, we think ahead, we build assumptions from experience. It’s one of the things that makes us successful as a species. But it’s also a major cause of dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

For me, the gorilla trek summed this up. But gorillas aside, it’s in our lives every day. Have you ever been on holiday to find the resort was a bit crap? Or argued about how you’d spend your weekend, as you and your partner had different ideas? Maybe you’ve watched a good film that left you unsatisfied, because you heard it was great?

It happens all the time. It happens at work.

A fundamental factor of employee experience

Consider these scenarios:

• You’re expecting a £1,500 bonus, but you get £500

• Your colleagues told you they got an 8% pay rise, then you get 3%

What happens then, are you grateful? Or disappointed?

And it’s not all about money, what about these:

• At the interview, you’re told your new role will be mainly project based, but once you start you realise it’s maintenance and admin

• You were told you would get support and guidance, yet your boss has been too busy to see you for weeks

On paper, it’s easy to forget the factors that impact our reactions and our decisions. People always want more money, so they should be happy with anything they get, right? But we’re not like that. You and I are more complicated. So are your employees.

Managing expectations is key to managing happiness. We’re all responsible for our own happiness, but as an employer, you have the opportunity to impact the happiness of a significant number of people. People that you want to connect with your values, drive your cause, and stay loyal to the company. That requires ongoing and regular dialogue and being realistic.

But words are cheap. Be careful not to think that words alone are enough. Action must follow. And the action and words must match. So, when you consider your employee experience, think of these three things:

1. How do you set employee expectations?

2. How do you make sure they’re realistic?

3. How do you follow through to meet or exceed them?

Trust is built through meeting expectations. And trust is key to any relationship.

Remember, next time you’re about to embark on a trip of a lifetime, ignore the other tourists. And when you’re looking at your employee experience, consider the key role of setting realistic and achievable expectations.

Because if you expect a baby gorilla at your feet, you’ll just end up disappointed.